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#1 RBana

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    Posted 24 Feb 14 - 07:16 PM

     I started this topic because i want to speak for people who are finding themself in what i write here, I'm a little sad to see so much people suffering out of love, so i want to see what you think about when something becomes too much.

      

           When much becomes too much

     

    What is the limit to which we must fight for a relationship? And no, I don't mean here the romantic story "the two of us and the rest of the world," what i mean is the sad situation ... especially for you, when you GIVE, and he/she DOES NOT.
    At first it's hard, and you feel that the ground is running under your feet; you dont have air any longer, you're in free fall and put your hands, maybe, maybe, you can manage to hook-up for something. A memory, an explanation, a word that may save a relationship that seemed perfect for you. When you see that nothing goes, you start to ask yourself "WHY?". You get the feeling (totally wrong) that if you turn the situation on all the faces, if you resume the relationship in mind from the beginning and up to the end, you will find out where you did wrong. And you're gonna fix the mistake, and change, and never do it again!!!
    Why do I say that it's totally wrong? Because if your partner would have cared more about your relationship,the first step would not have been to end it. Perhaps it would have been put the possible problem in the discussion, you would have thought together, you may have been trying to save something. It's hard to digest the idea, but most of the time (always, by the way), in a relationship they don't love alike. The first gives himself completely and puts his soul in the hands of the other, and the other is unable to do the same. He may have suffered in the past and he it's more cautious now, or maybe doesn't have the same depth emotional or simply :  “he/she’s not that into you”.
    And in this case what do you do? Fight with the windmills? You start with cell phones in the middle of the night, with messages of "good morning" and "good night", tell them how much you love him/her and how they wont find anybody else who will love them like you do ? At first him/her will answer. Him/ Her are  going to listen - but more you will talk and receive back only "Yes", "OK", "sorry", maybe even fabulous "it's not your fault, it's mine" or "you're too good for me" (honestly now, I would be offended on the intelligence if somebody would tell my that). When him/she see that you dont stop and start to get bored of you (even the most patient man has his limitations) its would no more answer you. After decades of missed calls in the morning, at noon and in the evening, you will receive ( if you're lucky) a message with "I'm sorry that you're suffering, is going to be alright". If you still don't temper yourself, you will not to get anything anymore.
    More further, what do you do? You isolate yourelf from friends, family, get close in the house, cry alone, you are looking for him at work/school/home, you cry in front of him/her, you start crying  home/work/on the street, then make your friends head calendar showing them your relationship again and again in search of the answer to the question "WHY?".
    NO. You look in the mirror to see the wreck that you have become you gave yourself two slaps to wake up to reality. You get up from the level-1 you are in now and try to save you, not a relationship that no longer exists and maybe not even ever existed just only in your mind.
    I will never understand the people who think that they have discovered the great love and they agree to degrade in front of the other until somewhere below the humanity.
    I will never understand how you can fight alone for one's love? I understand to  fight together for your love, the two of you against others.
    But just to fight with him/herself to loving yourself ... how comes that?!
    And one more thing I dont understand is how can a man who dosnt loves himself to have the claim to be loved by someone? If you don't love and appreciate yourself, why would you expect someone else to do it? Why someone else would do that? The only feeling you would wake up in someone- in the happiest case - is mercy.  Aah ... and if you have the misfortune to love a tym, a narcissist or a conceited person then you will  tickles a little his hubris.

     


    * I dont want this to be a sad post, i dont speak on own experience and I dont judge anyone. Just that I see more and more often people around me who "suffer out of love ' as if that would be the new fashion. Just because a person can make you suffer through the mere presence/absence, that doesn't mean that it's your soul mate. If when that person address you a word makes you feel in the ninth heaven, and then you get the hour of death because that person dont speak with you and dosnt find you with the days, that dosnt mean that he/she is your chosen/elected. It means that it was a person that simply does not care about you.
    I admire those who fight for what they want and Yes, most of the times it's okay not to accept a "no" from the first time and try to recover the relationship, to heal the wounds, to learn from mistakes. But when you see that you knock on a door which is no longer open for you ... it's time to go further. *

                     

     


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    I don't love him because of what he is, I love him because of what I am when i'm with him.

    Nobody lose anybody, because nobody possesses anybody. This is the real experience of the freedoom :

    To have the most important thing from the world, but without possesing it. -Paulo Coelho

    To love dosn't mean to look at each other, means the two of us to look in the same direction. -Antoine de Saint Exupery

     


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    #2 h1n4ta

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    Posted 10 Mar 14 - 04:56 PM

    what you have said those are right! Only one thing I can say, one people to others are different. Different in the they think, they treat, even what in their heart. That's why if we never can understand what our partner need (not want but need) of course there will be no separateness, broken heart or whatever you said sadness feeling.

     

    Just enjoy your life, nothing less if we don't have partner. Because if we have one it doesn't mean we will be happy also. So, it depends on what you think and you need I guess! hihihi :D


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    #3 RBana

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    Posted 23 Mar 14 - 01:36 PM

    what you have said those are right! Only one thing I can say, one people to others are different. Different in the they think, they treat, even what in their heart. That's why if we never can understand what our partner need (not want but need) of course there will be no separateness, broken heart or whatever you said sadness feeling.

     

    Just enjoy your life, nothing less if we don't have partner. Because if we have one it doesn't mean we will be happy also. So, it depends on what you think and you need I guess! hihihi :D

     

    You're right H1n4ta . :thumbsu:   But some people dont realize that, and they became like how i said up.


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    I don't love him because of what he is, I love him because of what I am when i'm with him.

    Nobody lose anybody, because nobody possesses anybody. This is the real experience of the freedoom :

    To have the most important thing from the world, but without possesing it. -Paulo Coelho

    To love dosn't mean to look at each other, means the two of us to look in the same direction. -Antoine de Saint Exupery

     


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    #4 h1n4ta

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    Posted 24 Mar 14 - 01:18 PM

    You're right H1n4ta . :thumbsu:   But some people dont realize that, and they became like how i said up.

     

    Indeed... Just let them. They just haven't realize how precious their lifes are. ;)


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    #5 RBana

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    Posted 01 May 14 - 06:53 PM

     Words for mother.

     

     When i was little, you teach me how to walk,
     You take care of me , like a mom should do.
     Not even a life would be enough to pay you back
     A milion times more than what you did for me,
     Because you're my mom, and i love you so much.

     

     Whenever you're mad at my,
     I don't realise at the moment
     But i know its the best thing you can do for me.
     You are the one who knows this big world,
     And how the bad people can be.

     

     I'm your big little girl that wants to protect you,
     Just like how you protected my,
     My dear mum you're my best friend.

     

     The love and the things you gave me,
    Not sure if i'm gonna could give as much as
    you gave me, but be sure than not even a life
    will end my love for you. Mum!

     

    This is something i gave to my mum, and something that i think we all think about our mums, we cant really express the love we feel for our Mum, since its kinda hard, at last for me, i'm a shy person. ^ ^ Hope you like it.

    :icon_yippie: :icon_no_no:


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    I don't love him because of what he is, I love him because of what I am when i'm with him.

    Nobody lose anybody, because nobody possesses anybody. This is the real experience of the freedoom :

    To have the most important thing from the world, but without possesing it. -Paulo Coelho

    To love dosn't mean to look at each other, means the two of us to look in the same direction. -Antoine de Saint Exupery

     


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